Hey Arnold! Songfics
by hatterlet
Summary: Each chapter will be a different song and the characters and plot that fit it best. Song suggestions? Review and tell me! Chap 5 up! Rated T for mention of alcohol.
1. Curly and Rhonda

Hey guys. I've started this songfic project just for the heck of it. Each chapter will be a different song and whatever characters I think fit it the best. Hope you enjoy!

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It was Christmas Eve, and it was snowing. Not the pleasant, big fluffy flakes, but those nasty wet little pellets that melt and make everything messy. Curly glanced up at the sky illuminated by the harsh sodium vapor lights of the supermarket parking lot. For his pains he received a face-full of the ridiculous precipitation. He sighed and yanked off his glasses to wipe them clean on his scarf. He stomped his feet to keep warm in the frigid air, then popped his glasses back on his face and hurried into the warmth of the store.

Curly picked up a basket and wandered aimlessly down an aisle. He weighed two loaves of bread in his hands, trying to decide on either French or Italian bread. From the next aisle over, he heard what sounded like someone frantically dialing a cell phone and shouting into it. Concerned, Curly peered around the corner to see if something was wrong. A young dark-haired woman in a red wool coat stood staring into a freezer case with a phone pressed to her ear.

"Yes, Nadine, it is an emergency! The cook has the night off for Christmas and I have to find my own dinner! All the restaurants are closed and this is the only store open that I can find. I simply cannot decide whether or not to get a Lean Cuisine Panini or the Healthy Choice Ravioli." She paused, listening. Whatever was said caused her to scrunch her face up in rage and she slammed the phone shut. After her tantrum, she went back to staring moodily into the frozen foods.

Gathering his courage, Curly snuck up behind the woman and lightly touched her sleeve.

"I'd go with the Ravioli." He said quietly. She turned abruptly and raised a hand as if to hit him, before pausing in confusion. For a moment she could only stare as he pulled his hand back. "Hello, Rhonda."

Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open.

"Curly? Oh my- holy- Curly!" She flung her arms around him, but kicked the designer purse that was on the floor at her feet. She stopped just shy of Curly's shoulders and glanced down at the various credit cards and cosmetics on the tile floor. Curly looked bemusedly at her, unsure how she would react. When the expected fury didn't come, he began to chuckle. Rhonda, still staring at the floor, began to laugh as well. Soon both of them were laughing so hard that both had tears flowing down their faces.

"Curly, it's so good to see you." She said a few moments later as they both stood in the checkout line. The cashier scanned Rhonda's ravioli and Curly's lasagna ingredients. He dug in his pockets for a wallet, but Rhonda stopped him. Silently, she handed the cashier a Visa card and gave Curly a dazzling smile. He blushed slightly and turned away.

When Rhonda finished paying for the groceries, she found him fiercely examining a display of candy bars. She paused, unsure what to say. It had been so long since their brief, whirlwind romance in high school. Finally, she placed a slim hand on his shoulder and said

"Do you want to go get a drink?"

* * *

The bell on the door of Hillwood Fine Liquors rank shrilly as Rhonda and Curly tumbled out the door, laughing again.

"And then, then Sheena said 'You animal! and I said, 'No, that's the coat!" Curly laughed appreciatively, concentrating more on the puddles and not dropping the drinks. Rhonda continued. "I can't believe there is not a place left open in town."

"Well, it is Christmas Eve, Rhonda." Curly replied as they reached the car. Piling in, Rhonda turned up the heat full blast and they sat and watched the snowflakes melt on the windshield. He pulled out a bottle and handed it to her, which she took gracefully.

"A toast." She suggested. Curly retrieved a drink for himself and clinked it against her bottle.  
"To being young and innocent- fifteen years ago." Rhonda smiled and took a swig. Curly glanced across at her and felt a familiar sadness welling up inside- an emptiness that had followed him since high school. Rhonda stared gloomily out the front window as she delivered her next statement.

"I got married, you know. A few years back. His name's Marcus and he's in architecture." Curly felt the bottom of his stomach drop out

"That's- that's great Rhonda." She glanced over at him, curious at his tone. "You must love each other very much. She smiled sadly.

"Well, I don't like to lie. You know, he's a great husband, he makes me feel safe. But still…" she sighed. Curly tentatively snaked an arm around her shoulder

"He's a lucky man." She smiled up at him. It was nice to look up, the last time she had looked down. "You know," Curly continued, "your eyes are still as blue as I remember." She blinked, tears suddenly collecting in the corners. A strange emotion flickered across their sapphire expanse, which Curly could not quite identify. Was it doubt? Or gratitude?

Rhonda pulled away from Curly's one armed embrace and dug in her purse for a tissue. She pulled down the visor mirror and dabbed at her mascara.

"Well, what about you? Are you still in that band? I saw some of your CD's in the music store the other day." She snapped the visor shut and looked expectantly at her bespectacled companion. He glanced at the floor, embarrassed.

"Not really. I loved performing, and the audiences were great. But I hated the travelling. I didn't like being away from home." He reached for his bottle, but had subconsciously drained it through the conversation. Beside him, Rhonda yawned and stretched. Curly took the hint and gathered his grocery bags from around his feet.

"I suppose I'll take my leave then, Rhonda. I'm glad I got to see you again." With a pang of sadness, he added another comment "Tell your husband I said hello and I look forward to maybe meeting him." With that, he crawled out of the car.

"Curly, wait." Rhonda called as she caught his wrist. He stopped and let himself be pulled into her car. Placing a hand on either side of his face, she kissed him tenderly. "I've missed you Curly. It was good to see you." She shifted back into her own seat and gripped the wheel. Curly stepped out of the car for a second time and closed the door gently.

Rhonda revved her engine and peeled out of the parking lot, leaving Curly to cough through the fumes. He waved slightly as she left, but she didn't see him. A memory came to him as her car disappeared from sight. The day that the most popular girl in the senior class of Hillwood High dumped her geeky boyfriend and left him crying on the school steps. Tugging his coat tighter around him, Curly angrily banished the memory. He flipped his collar up and began the long walk home as the Christmas snow turned into rain.

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Anyone like to guess the song? Leave a review with the title or Artist and I'll give you a cookie if you're right! Song title will be posted with the next chapter.

Cheers,

Hatterlet


	2. Bob and Miriam

Okay guys, here comes chapter 2. Figured I might need to make it a slightly easier song this time. Props to Gothic-Romantic99 for guessing the song- _Same Old Lang Syne_ by Dan Fogelberg. Good job!

Remember, if you have a song suggestion (and I've heard the song ) or you want to make a guess, leave a review. Or leave a review anyway; I always love to read them.

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Miriam snorted in her sleep and rolled over, taking most of the blankets with her. Bob, still awake, rolled his eyes and yanked them back.

Having retrieved his share of the bedclothes, he returned to his previous task of pondering cell phone contracts for the Beeper Emporium. Miriam interrupted him once more by throwing out an arm and sending a multitude of plastic cups clattering to the floor.

"Criminy, Miriam." Bob muttered under his breath. He put down his paperwork and pondered his wife. Miriam lay sprawled across the bed; one arm possessively wrapped around the pitcher to one of her many blenders. Only his ridiculous wife would cuddle a blender. Her nightstand was littered with multi-colored smoothie cups, many of which now resided on the floor.

He couldn't stand it anymore. At least when Olga had been home Bob had been taken care of. She was always cooking and cleaning house. But she was gone now, married off to some banker. Helga too, off traveling Europe with that Alfred guy. All Bob has was Miriam, and he was tired of her.

Fed up with his pitiful excuse of marital relations, Bob threw off his blankets and stalked down to the kitchen. A newspaper lay messily on the table, and he idly picked it up.

A personal ad caught his attention; the woman described herself as young (at heart), tall, and blonde. Bob scanned her list of preferences which included walks on the Cape and piña coladas. She was looking for a man with brains, but was not hung up on looks.

Thinking of his dull wife asleep upstairs, Bob made up his mind. He dashed off a reply, including a request to meet him at a restaurant the next week.

_One week later_

Bob sat at a table for two, glancing around somewhat nervously. He caught himself actually chewing a thumbnail and mentally kicked himself. He was Big Bob, the Beeper King! Nothing made him nervous! Suddenly, the door opened. A chill involuntarily went down bob's spine as a tall woman walked in.

As agreed, she was wearing a blue dress. A very familiar blue dress. Bob stood up in shock as he watched Miriam walk towards him, a similar look on her face.

"B?"  
"Miriam?!"

Both stood for a moment, completely floored. Then Bob slowly spoke, not totally sure what to say.

"I- didn't know you liked piña coladas, Miriam." For once Miriam smiled at him, her eyes unclouded by her usual dazed stupor. She laughed and took her husband's arm."

"You've got a lot to learn, B."


	3. Brainy

Hello everyone, I am back with the next installment. Congratulations to Gotapenname for correctly guessing the last song- Escape (Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes.

Before I begin this chapter, it is about Brainy. He's my favorite character. I know he's a freaky little stalker, but I love him in spite of that. So comment away, just not on his stalkerishness, please. That's the whole point of this song. This one is very short, but (at least I think) meaningful. Enjoy!

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No matter what I did, I could never have her. One day she just breezed into my life and after that, I would never be the same.

She would argue with you ceaselessly, but she was the image of perfection. Her beautiful blonde hair cascading down her shoulders, her blue eyes, whether lit with happiness or brimming with sorrowful tears. She was gorgeous, an eighteen year-old goddess. But she would never admit it. Overshadowed by that cookie-cutter of a sister, her self-worth squashed by an uncaring family.

I always tried to be there for her. In her moments of weakness, I stood behind her, ready to lend a helping hand. But no. She had pledged her heart to another- that dense dolt, Arnold. She loved him with all her heart, leaving no room for me.\

No matter where she went, I followed her. Sometimes she noticed me lurking in the shadows, sometimes she didn't. Where she went, I went. One night I followed her home as she spouted impromptu poetry filled with his name. How I wished it would be mine instead of his.

However this time was one she noticed me. I had no time to avoid that blessed fist that smashed my nose. But it was the only way she would ever touch me. No matter how many times she did it, I always knew I'd put myself in the position for another.

That night I stood outside her house and watched the lights go out. It began to rain, but I really didn't mind.

Someday, I dream that she will come to o me. A knock will come at the door and she will fall into my waiting arms. I'll hold her close and tell her how much I love her. Until then, I'll just have to be content to stand in the rain, watching her window.

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Remember to review with the name of the song, a song suggestion, or just in general! :)


	4. Helga and Brainy

Hello everyone! Ready for round 4? I got a lot of response on that last one. Congratulations to Teenage Mouse, Gotapenname, and Gothic-Romantic99 for guessing chapter 3- "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5. That was actually the first one I wrote for this project and I lost it in the interim.

Now a reply to Gothic-Romantic99's suggestion. Here's your prize for guessing two chapters correctly! :)

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Hillwood's Attorney-General was the toughest, harshest woman that the courts had ever seen. She would stalk into a court room in her black and pink pinstripe suits and send criminals to their deaths. But at 9 o'clock on this particular evening she stood staring out the plate glass windows of her office building, making not a single sound but fogging the windows with her quiet breath. Her secretary silently crept into the room and laid a file of papers on the already overcrowded desk. The tall woman remained motionless until the petite Japanese receptionist closed the door.

Helga sighed and picked up the folder. Expecting a new case or some other documents inside, she flipped it open with a practiced gesture. Instead, she found a folder filled with memorabilia. A picture of a group of smiling Jr. High students on their last day of class, a stack of terrible love poetry, a single pink ribbon. Helga smiled, fond memories filling her mind. She remembered this particular packet of goodies, having put it together herself several years ago in anticipation of a hard day when she got older.

Turning her attention back to the mountain of papers on the desk, she groaned. Being the Attorney-General was a heavy weight to bear. She began to tackle the monstrous pile of paperwork. The hours ticked by as she worked her way painstakingly through each and every case. By 11 o'clock she could actually see her desk calendar, so she decided to take a break. She pushed her chair back and took a walk down the hallway.

A light on in the office's lounge caught her eye. She peered in the doorway, but saw no one. Instead, an open newspaper lay across the faux marble counter top, one corner partially in the sink and damp from a wayward drip. Helga stepped inside, her heels clicking gently on the tile floor. She picked up the paper, curious. A large photograph on a folded-back page caught her eye. It was a half-page marriage announcement detailing the nuptials of Hillwood-bred dancer Lila Sawyer and the jazz singer known only as Arnold.

Helga dropped the paper back in the sink, a pain in her chest and moisture growing in her eyes. As a younger lawyer fresh from her bar exam, Helga had covered the first of many painful divorces spawned from that tramp Lila. Helga had been paid richly by Ms. Sawyer to cover it with little publicity, but as she left the courtroom, Helga herself had comforted Stinky before following her client out. Through the following years Lila had worked her way through a great majority of the male population of her graduating class, before finally making it to the one man she had spent years pushing away.

Trying to block the simpering visage of Lila out, Helga instead turned her attention to the other face in the photo. Arnold had not changed much since the end of high school when Helga last saw him. His hair had grown longer and hung slightly across his forehead, but he still had the distinctively shaped head and bright eyes. As Helga stared at the newsprint, it finally sunk in. She had lost Arnold forever. Or at least until Lila left him a broken man, unable to ever love another woman. Helga sank to the ground; her back pressed against the cabinets and allowed the tears to flow quietly.

"Ms. Pataki?" A voice startled her, and Helga struggled quickly to her feet, trying to hide the signs of her grief.

"Excuse me. I wasn't aware anyone was left in the office." Helga said, turning her back on the visitor and mopping at her streaming eyes. She cast her gaze about for anything to distract from her current rampaging emotions and lit upon the newspaper. "I'm sorry. Is this yours?" She asked, holding up the paper. The man stepped forward and took it from her.

"Yes. I didn't mean to leave it laying around in here. So strange about Arnold and Lila…" he trailed off, immersed in the article. Helga stared for a second, trying to figure out why this stranger seemed so familiar. She leaned slightly, trying to catch sight of his eye color; sure that was the clue to his identity. As she shifted, her well-used heels gave out and one snapped, sending her toppling to the floor.

"Helga!" The stranger shouted, dropping his paper. He immediately went to her rescue, concern lighting his grey eyes. He offered her his hand and helped to pull her to her feet. Suddenly, something clicked inside Helga's mind.

"Brainy?" He laughed, steadying her on one high heel.

"I've been working here nearly as long as you have and you've never noticed?" He asked, laughing. But beneath that laugh was a certain loneliness and melancholy tone. Helga's legal training immediately picked up on that.

"Brainy, why are you here? Why have you spent all this time here?" He looked away for a moment, staring pointedly at the marriage announcement in the paper.

"Do you really have to ask?"

* * *

(Some Time Later)

Helga sat behind her desk, moodily staring out her window again, watching the sunset. A knock interrupted her reverie and she yelled for them to come in. The door clicked open and Brainy entered. Helga looked up and smiled. Brainy grinned back.

"I think that's the first time you've ever really smiled at me." He said, handing her a folder. Helga sidestepped the statement.

"You don't wheeze anymore." Brainy gave a barking hoarse laugh and made no further comment. A few moments passed in silence as Helga looked through the folder and Brainy stared out the window. Finally, with a shuddering sigh, Helga broke the silence and spoke.

"Brainy, this is going to sound awkward, and I don't want it to, but I have to say it. You're still in love with me, aren't you?"

For a moment, he didn't reply. Not able to take it, Helga plowed on.

"I spent most of my life in desperate adoration of that ridiculous football-head. And now he's gone and married that twit Lila. Brainy, I'm tired of being alone. I _know_ you still love me. I've loved for so long and never been loved in return. I want to know what it's like. Will you show me?" She paused and looked expectantly at her bespectacled friend. He still didn't reply. Helga threw her arms in the air and stood up from her desk hard enough to send the chair crashing against the wall.

"Hang it all Brainy. I know you can show me what it's like. I want to feel something new. You can't hide it from me. Show me!" She crossed the room to where he stood and grabbed his shoulders. "Please?"

Brainy looked her in the eyes. Staring deep into their grey depths, Helga saw Brainy steeling himself for something. In an instant, he wrapped both his arms around her and kissed her. Helga's breath caught in her throat at the sudden emotion that ripped through both of them. When they eventually separated, both gasping for air, Brainy finally spoke.

"You don't know how long I've waited to do that." His voice was husky, almost like it had been with the wheezing Helga remembered. "Trust me, Helga, I'll show you what love is."

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There you have it. More Brainy goodness. As usual, they are a little OOC, but I think all characters do that when you try to make them older. And I'm aware that we were never told what color eyes Brainy had, but I always pictured them as grey. I've written him with grey eyes before.

As always, remember to review with comments, suggestions, or title guesses. Until next time!


	5. Read to Find Out!

Hello everyone, back for another round. My deepest congratulations to TeenageMouse (this universe?;p), and Gothic-Romantic 99 for correctly guessing the previous chapter- _I Want to Know What Love Is_ by Foreigner. Cookies for all!

Just a note on things, as I have taken a few requests: If you have a song or idea you would like written, please feel free to ask me. I may not get to them all, but I always appreciate suggestions and will try to integrate them in some way. I'm open to any type of music, but am limited to what I've heard and can get my hands on. I'll do about any pairing, but please no slash. That turns my stomach and I'm really not interested in writing or reading it. No offense to slash fans.

And now, onward to the story!

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He laid silently in bed, listening to his wife breathing beside him. She snorted unattractively and rolled over, a goofy grin splayed across her lips. He reached over a gentle hand and brushed some of her silver hair away from her eyes, which twitched in the midst of a dream.

Thankfully, the years had been kind to both of them. Even at their advanced age, they usually felt young and spry. He prayed for a few more years for the two of them to spend together, but knew it would probably be soon that they were separated. Every moment they had left together was all the more a treasure for that reason.

He fought off sleep like a grumpy child, forcing his eyes back open. For some reason he didn't want to fall asleep. With his wife slumbering next to him, he felt perfectly relaxed. He glanced across at her once again and watched the moonlight glitter against her hair. He almost felt a sense of regret that she had long since given up those wonderful pigtails that she used to be so famous for. Her bows, too, that he had long ago admired, disappeared with the advent of adulthood. Some days, he felt a sense of regret for the little girl that she had been, but nothing was as sweet as her presence there next to him.

She murmured a bit in her dreams, and he wondered what she was seeing. Her complaints soon ceased and he pulled her close, thanking the stars above that he had finally seen through her petty teasing as a child and found the love of his life. The moment was perfect, something he wanted to last forever. Even if they were both to die right then and there, he would be happy. He relaxed, kissed her eyes, and allowed himself to drift off to sleep.

The next morning, the sound of a slamming door tore him out of his dreams. Arnold stood there in the doorway, staring goggle-eyed at his grandparents.

"Sorry." He said, sheepishly, before backing out of the door. Phil chuckled, watching his embarrassed grandson leave. When the door closed again, he rolled over and pulled Gertie closer to him, smiling as she wrapped an arm around her husband. Their final days were coming, but he knew that he wouldn't miss a single moment until then.

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Sorry this one is so short. There's not enough dialogue that I could make out of this song. Hope you all enjoy! Remember to review with guesses, suggestions ,or just comments!


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